- Replies to peers’ responses should be no less 100 words, using college level English. Be sure to add something to the conversation (e.g., discuss why you agree). Replies that say “good job,” “Dear Justin,” “I agree with you” and similar statements don’t count as sentences. The salutation (Dear Alejandra) does not count toward minimum of 100 words of quality work.
- A cheerleading response such a “Good post!” or “I enjoyed reading your perspective” is allowed; however, only one of these, the first one, is counted toward your minimum content requirements; you are welcome to write more than that, but those sentences will not count in your minimum content requirements.
- When you reply to a peer, comment in such a way that it stimulates additional conversation regarding the topic. Add additional concepts, vocabulary and theories from the chapters’ contents and readings. Bring in a concept from a different chapter, something from the current event or perhaps ask a question that continues the discussion further, just like you would in a verbal conversation. If you are simply summarizing what the person has already stated, you are not adding anything new to the discussion.
Development: Parenting Styles
Diana Baumrind introduced different parenting styles which she believes are great factors in every child’s behavior and socioemotional development. The four parenting styles are authoritative style, authoritarian style, permissive style and uninvolved style (Spielman et al., 2020, Section 9.3, p. 305). The authoritative style is when there’s open communication but with a set of limits. Example of this is that you are open to listen to your child’s opinions in other words, it’s a flexible parenting style. While authoritarian style is a one-way communication with punishments. This parenting style lacks flexibility and children who are raised in this style are good at following rules, yet they lack self-control and self-discipline. An example of this is deciding everything for your child without asking them. On the other hand, permissive parenting is a child-driven style. Parents in this style are very nurturing and act like friends, children have more freedom and this style lacks rules that can lead to negative effects. An example of this is letting your kids have screentime as much as they want, leading them to impulsive behavior. Lastly is the uninvolved style which can simply defined as neglectful parenting. It’s a parenting style that lacks warmth, responsiveness and emotional involvement. Children raised in this style have poor academic performances, lack of social skills, low self-esteem and higher chance of substance abuse. Example of this is not acknowledging your kid’s needs (Spielman et al., 2020, Section 9.3, p. 305).
On my case I was raised in authoritative style where my parents always consider and value my opinions. As far as I remember, they gave me choices on what school should I enroll in high school and in college, what course should I pursue, if I don’t eat specific dish, they will consider me and cook another dish which I can eat, they are open with all my relationships back then when I was a teenager, they respect my decision when I said that I want to get married and migrate in the US, they support me when I said that I want to go back schooling now even I already have a son. I’m very comfortable telling my parents everything because they don’t judge me, instead, they will listen to me and if they know that I’m wrong and going on the wrong path, they will help and correct me. And I am so happy and proud of the outcome, I’m not a perfect human but I know that they raised me so well. I decided to go back to school because they believed in me, so I believe in myself. I grew up in a nurturing and supportive parenting style where there is lots of love and respect which results in a very positive outcome.
On the other hand, my husband was raised by his foster mother. He didn’t have a chance to meet his biological mother. I’m married to him for 7 years and every day I can see the big difference because of our different upbringings. He was raised in a authoritarian style by his foster mom. He doesn’t have a father on his side while he’s growing up. By the age of 5, his foster mom moved in the US and left him with his aunt in the Philippines. He grew up so well even though he doesn’t know his biological parents. He’s a responsible father and a loving husband to me. But unlike me, he is not open to his foster mom and there’s a big difference in their attitude. Unlike me, he didn’t have a chance to pursue a career he wanted for himself so in the end, he wasn’t able to graduate and apply what he studied in his current work. His foster mom wants him to be a nurse, but my husband wants to pursue a career which is related to computers such as Information Technology or Computer Science. And when my husband is 23 years old, he asked for his foster mom’s approval to marry me, but his mom disapproved but we still get married in the Philippines with my parents’ full support. For me, this parenting style is not healthy for both parents and children, it might destroy the bond and on my husband’s case, even though he’s the head of our family, it’s hard for him to make a firm decision and sometimes I feel like he’s lacking self-esteem.
And now that I am a mom, I’m applying the same parenting style that my parents used in raising me, authoritative style. My son is only 3 years old but I’m sensitive about what he feels. I’m very open and always giving him an option so that I can value his choice. I don’t want him to feel unheard just because he’s still young. For example, if he hits me all of a sudden, before getting mad, I’ll acknowledge his feelings if he’s upset or disappointed. It’s a natural human emotion. For a 3 year old kid whose words are still limited and he cannot express himself better, I’ll try to ask him first what upsets him and acknowledge what he feels and say, “It’s normal to be upset but hitting mommy is not good, so next time if you are upset on something please tell mommy and mommy will understand you or if you want to hit, go get a pillow and hit it instead of hitting people.” So far, during monthly assessment in his school, his teacher said that my son knows how to follow rules in school, easy to get along with and he’s friendly to all of his classmates. And based on my observation, he is very open to me and it’s easy for him to tell me everything. I’m a working student mom but after work, I’m making sure that I have time to play with him and help him with his schoolworks. As I’m using this style, I have set of limits and rules such as his daily allowable screentime which is just 30 minutes and our playdate schedules at the playgrounds. I just want to balance everything, and I want to raise a good human being.
This topic benefits me not just as a Psychology major student but as a mother as well. I’ve learned in this chapter that based on how you raised a child is such a big impact on your child development. Another interesting topic in this chapter is that it explained why adolescents are very impulsive at making decisions and unexplained emotional outburst at their age, it is because of the frontal lobe development during this stage (Spielman et al., 2020, Section 9.3, p. 308).