Family narratives and normative roles shape the way in which conflict is managed.
Respond to two of your classmates and address one of the questions asked within their initial post. Responses should be substantive and further the discussion by using examples, making comparisons, posing scenarios, providing additional resources, referencing a current event, challenging the initial author’s opinions, etc. Each response post should be at minimum 150 words. Fully develop the response with examples, comparisons, references to current events, media, etc.
1/ “Growing up I recognized there was conflict within our family when my parents would not talk to each other directly. My parents would talk to us kids to communicate to with each other. For example I knew my parents had conflict with each other if my mom would tell one of us kids to go tell dad that dinner is ready. My dad would be in his office or outside doing something and instead of her going out and telling him herself, she would tell us to go relay the message. If there was conflict between us kids, we would not talk to each other and give the other siblings more attention, if I had conflict with my brother I would make sure my brother saw me having a good time with my sister, instead of resolving the conflict we would do things to agravante each other some more. A ritual that we have always observed was dinner time. It wasn’t until high school that it slowly faded away due to us kids playing sports. We would all eat dinner at the dinner table together and talk about our days. This related to conflict because it was the time of day that we would all spill our day. Now I ask you, did you explain your day to the full extent or did you just share what your parents wanted to hear or would please them? Lastly, now that we are older do the same conflict styles still occur from the time that you were younger, say in elementary/middle school?”
2/ “In my family, conflict emerges in different ways for different members. For example, on one hand, you can typically tell if my mum is upset because she tends to raise her voice or be loud in other ways like stomping, setting things down loudly, and maybe shutting doors heavily. On the other hand though, when my brother is upset he gets quiet and separates himself from our family. Quite honestly this makes a lot of sense for how we were raised because my brother tends to take after my dad and I am a little hot headed just like my mom. I’m not sure exactly how to explain this “role” that I feel like has been placed on both my mom and I with one word. I feel like my dad, who I have to say is the nicest guy ever, has it in his head that sometimes when my mom and I are upset it’s just us being dramatic and it’s a laughing matter. I know he doesn’t mean any real harm by it but it definitely frustrates us. This always ends up with my mom getting mad enough to have to leave the room to cool down, and I tend to either do the same, or I end up crying to be taken seriously. To be honest though this is not like a super common experience, just enough that I can notice the pattern now that I am older. Now I feel like sometimes I am more likely to notice when I am reacting in a slightly destructive manner because I don’t want to make others feel like how my mom can sometimes make me feel. So, I guess my question for the class is do you guys tend to act like your parents because of how you were raised or the opposite?”
Course Material: Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th edition). Pearson.