I have submitted a final draft paper and would like you to apply changes based on the Professor’s feedback. Also, include an Annotated Bibliography consisting of three academic sources for the final paper. Her comments/feedbacks are listed below and the attachment reflects additional feedback that appears in blue.
Her Feedback include: Strong start here, I can see you have a lot of ideas about Maus and have paid close attention to the work. My main concern is the thesis. You have a firm starting claim; the novel is not only about the Holocaust, it is about a father/son relationship. But what should we understand about the relationship? What are you trying to convince the reader of? A broad thesis opens your work up to critique and makes it more difficult for you to organize the paper/ conduct research. You want your thesis statement to be as specific and pointed as possible. What EXACTLY is your interpretation of the relationship and how do you want your readers to understand that interpretation? Why does it matter, what is its importance? Remember the thesis workshop we did in class on 8/7. You want your thesis to be focused, naunced, and specific. How do you perceive their relationship? Spend the paper breaking down why you perceive it that way and the strength of your opinion. Your opinion matters. Additionally, I notice you do not have analysis of specific moments within Maus. For the most effective, convincing argument, rather than making generalized claims about the work, point to specific moments/panels/ pages and break them down in service of your point. The KUP Method handout can visualize this for you. Lastly, ensure you have two more academic sources cited directly in your paper and listed in your Works Cited page and reformat your citations to have hanging indentations.