Public Admin thesis rewrite. Was rejected with these notes:
Reframing research question: The initial question is open ended, and therefore, too broad. Question should be framed instead as a proposed solution – a statement that you will go on to prove correct in the course of the paper.
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‘how can generic PA policies etc affect maternal health…’ becomes ‘this specific X or Y policy will positively affect maternal health in black or women of color’
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What are some PA policies that could fit X or Y?
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Does cultural competency training or community-based support programs qualify as a PA policy or intervention? Are there examples of these interventions being implemented successfully?
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For this project, the research question must be more focused and concise than what is stated in this draft. “How can public administration policies and interventions effectively reduce maternity health care disparities for women of color in the United States, addressing both access to quality care and maternal health outcomes?”. This is the most important issue to address.
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What is the key issue here? Maternity health care disparities for women of color, access to quality care, or maternal health outcomes?
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Must be clearly stated.
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Also, does not really match the rest of the project.
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Is this project about African American Women or Women of Color? Must be consistent throughout the entire project.
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In the instrument, you mentioned several issues that might affect maternity health care disparities for women of color (or African American Women), e.g. cultural competency training, community-based support programs, and etc. It would work much better to focus on ONE of these issues and how it might reduce maternity health care disparities for women of color (or African American Women)
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i.e. – How does/Does cultural competency training OR community-based support programs OR etc. reduce maternity health care disparities for women of color/African American Women?
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Not sure what this means “public administration policies and interventions”? As opposed to non-public administration policies and interventions?
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Writing issues, e.g. tone, “we see that maternal mortality rates in the United States…” Must use objective, formal, and impersonal language. “public administration policies and interventions” is too vague. As opposed to what? Must be more focused and defined. etc.
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Must provide citation for very assertion. See comments on the Introduction.
Introduction
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The section is to substantiate the research problem and research question. Must first make sure the there is a focused and consistent research question.
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Use statistics and research findings to substantiate the research problem.
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Assertions must be supported by citations. Multiple citations for major assertions
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Background
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This section is to provide additional information on the research problem, e.g. the history, existing policies, legislations, and etc. Again, must first identify a focused and consistent research question.
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Again, assertions must be supported by citations. Multiple citations for major assertions.
I attached what I turned in and finished thesis examples that were approved. -