Here is my first proposal for the dissertation, i got feedback from my coach and she made comments to edit it so could you please READ her comments and feedback and edit what she needs to improve my proposal?
Here her replied email
(Dear Mohammad,
I hope this email finds you in good health. It is evident that you have invested considerable time and energy into this work, and the chosen topic is really interesting. However, I would like to offer some constructive feedback aimed at refining and enhancing the focus of your research.
Firstly, while the subject matter is intriguing, there appears to be a need for more concentrated focus within your proposal. The scope seems rather broad, making it challenging to undertake an in-depth investigation. I recommend sharpening the focus by refining your research question to ensure a more targeted and manageable inquiry.
In addition, a thorough examination of your chosen methodology reveals a level of ambition that, in my view, may benefit from a more streamlined approach. Next to that, if you opt for quantitative research, I strongly advise utilizing validated questions to ensure the reliability and validity of your findings. Precision in your methodology will undoubtedly contribute to the overall robustness of your research.
Enclosed with this email, you will find a document providing more comprehensive feedback on various aspects of your proposal)