Insecure in Love : How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and W h a t Yo u C a n D o about it
Introduction
PART ONE
The Bedrock of All Relationships
- Early Connections: A Foundation for Love
The Basics of How You Connect Four Styles of Attachment
Discovering Your Attachment Style - Understanding Why You Relate the Way You Do
Proximity: Protection from Danger
Safe Haven: The Need for Comfort - Secure Base: Support for Exploring the World Balancing Autonomy and Closeness
Managing Your Emotions
Two Ways to Earn Security and Happy Relationships
PARTTWO
Discover Your Potential: Being Worthy of Love
Opening the Door to Change
Learning to See Yourself in a Positive Light
Confirming the “You” You Know Confirming How You See Others Closed-Loop Relationships
Pursuit-Withdrawal: A Common Relationship Problem
Summary: Gaining Perspective
Overcoming Obstacles
Self-Deception
The Logic Stops Here
How Pain Motivates Change The Need for New Experiences
The Need for New Experiences
PART THREE
Compassionate Self-Awareness: The Antidote to
Relationship Anxiety
A Path to Deep, Lasting Security
Self-Awareness Self-Compassion
The Healing Power of Compassionate Self-Awareness
Developing Self-Awareness
Facing Your Ambivalence
Nurturing Awareness of Emotions
Transforming Your Thoughts with Greater Awareness 104
Mentalizing
Final Thoughts on Self-Awareness
Creating Self-Compassion
Common Humanity
Mindfulness
Self-Kindness
Compassionate Self-Awareness in a Nutshell
PART FOUR
Lighting Up Your Love Life
PART FOUR
Lighting Up Your Love Life
Finding Someone Who Will Accept You and Warm Your Heart
Set a Goal for a Healthy Relationship What to Look for in a Partner Panning for Gold Spin a Supportive Web
Nurturing a Relationship You Feel Secure In
Self-Disclosure
Interdependence: Being One “Whole Half”
Keeping Your Connection Going
Accentuate the Positive On Being Grateful
It Takes Work to Tango
Working It Out Asking for Support
Talking Through Conflicts
The Gift of Forgiveness
Moving On
Closing Thoughts