[MIT Sloan Master in Finance] Application Short Answer Questions; Check, revise and Edit work need

Instruction: This is MIT Sloan Master in Finance application short answer questions
There are four short answer question word limits 200 for Q# 1-3 and 250 for Q#4 below (total 850 words). My writing is a mixture of my human writing and Chat GPT.
Please edit/revise my writing to look more intuitive, human, smart, clear, and smooth so the admission can read better.

I hope you can focus on understanding what I am trying to say. keeping the context but making it look better English wiring. Changing words would be great also as some of them are awkwardly generated by AI.
changing some sentence structure and taking off unnecessary words would be good too for keeping word limit and avoiding decreasing a clearness of writing

There are 6 hours left to edit/revise this assignment to submit my application today. it would be great if you could show me the midpoint outcome in the middle, so I can see whether there is a need to be changed.
if you please can generally focus on my work I am willing to pay more than the Estimated price + tips at the end.
Let me know anything need for the process
Thank you so much

Question 1:

Please discuss your past academic and professional experiences and accomplishments that will help you succeed in the MFin program. Include achievements in finance, math, statistics, and computer science, as applicable. (200 words limit)

Choosing to minor in Quantitative Data Analytics while majoring in Economics was a pivotal decision in my undergraduate studies. Taking those classes, I developed a greater interest in Quant. Not only I enjoyed cumulative GPA from Quantitative Data Analytics minor courses stands at 3.92/4.00. sparked a deep interest in quantitative analysis. I found joy in working with numbers, a skill that has been invaluable in a world riddled with logical anomalies and uncertainties. My proficiency with Python, R and Stata have expanded my capabilities beyond Excel, allowing me to tackle complex datasets effectively. Apply machine learning techniques to build decision tree model This foray into programming was a new venture for me, differing from the theoretical focus of Economics. It equipped me with the detailed skillset necessary to complement my broader economic understanding.
Professionally, these quant skills have been indispensable. At the prosecutor’s office, I began with fundamental quantitative Excel tasks. I leveraged Python for extensive data analysis. At the Investment Division of Helios Private Equity, I applied advanced quantitative finance techniques, including valuation methods, financial data analysis, equity evaluation, and financial modeling. I am eager to deepen my learning in the MFin program to apply these competencies more extensively in the real world.

Question 2:

Tell us about your short-term and long-term professional goals. How will our MFin degree help you achieve these goals? (200 words limit)

In the short term, will excel in Buy-side roles within Private Equity Asset Management or Investment Banking in the U.S. This phase is crucial, This foundational stage will cultivate my expertise and network. Subsequently, I aim to expand into roles that covers Asia-Pacific market, enhancing my grasp of international finance with a focus on Korea. After gaining valuable experience and insights, my plan is to transition into roles that cover the Asia-Pacific region, understanding of international markets and narrowing my profession.

My long-term goal is to ascend to a position where I can manage a fund that specializes in investments between the United States and the APAC region, with a particular focus on Korea. Then As end career, managing a PE fund cover both Equity and Infrastructure focusing on APAC area raise capital from global wide, more specifically MBK from ‘MBK Partners’ is one of my role model.
There are indeed great programs out there. However, MIT’s MFin is my definite priority. The flexible curriculum while meet all of my interest. Its dynamic curriculum aligns perfectly with my interests and is undeniably oriented towards global finance. The Sloan alumni embody this international outlook, I strongly believe MIT will get more to help to achieve my goal until the end(rewrite or write this part for me it kind of sounds so weak to end the paragraph)

Question 3:

What personal qualities will enable you to contribute to the advancement of our mission?
(The mission of the MFin program at MIT Sloan is to create the next generation of principled, global financial leaders able to apply the)e latest modern finance theories and methods). (200 words limit)

I am a person who set a goal and driving my life to achieve. My commitment to continuous improvement is unwavering. For years, my guiding principle has been, ‘Strive to be at least 0.1% better than the yesterday.’ Avoid stagnation and backsliding, a moment of regression by 1% will necessitates double the effort to recoup the setback from the goal. Conversely, daily incremental enhancements by 1% or even 0.01% can drive a compounding effect in life. My aim is to foster productivity within myself and gain recognition for my contributes to society. To fulfill my ambitions, I am always prepared and willing to undertake the necessary actions. Qualities that will enable me to make the most of a student and member at MIT Sloan. As my end career goal is to manage global fund with a focus on continuously integrating the latest theories and methodologies in modern finance, bridging North America and APAC, I am committed to leveraging all that Sloan has to offer to reach this goal. I have recently completed my final interview with EQT Partners CR Team for a six-month term position and I am anticipating beginning work this January prior to MFIN program starts. I confident that I will gain a deep insight of global standard private equity strategies.
Question 4:

We would like to give you the opportunity to expand on your background. How has the world you come from shaped who you are today? For example, your family, culture, community, all help to shape aspects of your life experiences and perspective. Please use this opportunity if you would like to share more about your background.

Please do not include any links in your response. (250 words limit)

In 1994, my father, a dedicated doctor, made a pivotal
decision to close his flourishing practice and pursue postdoctoral studies at
New York University. Despite a successful hospital busniess and opposite opinions from others, including my grandfather who advised him to prioritize focusing on settle and earning income saying, its not time to study and new experiences. But he and his family moved to the States with Steadfast determination. Alongside him, my mother studied art, and his three children were given the
opportunity to immerse themselves in American education on the East Coast.

In this transformative period, I was born in Englewood Cliffs in 1998 the
fourth child, and a testament to a period my father still recalls as the most
memorable of his life. It wasn’t only the academic-related experience that marked this era;
it was the invaluable relationships, the cultural immersion, the cherished
memories with my mother, and indeed, my birth as his fourth child.

During this transformative time, I was born in Englewood
Cliffs in 1998 as the fourth child, marking a period my father cherishes
deeply. That era’s significance came not only from academic challenges but also
from forming invaluable relationships, experiencing cultural integration, and
creating fond memories with my family.

Upon our return to Korea, my father’s clinic saw even
greater success. His resilience and pioneering spirit greatly shaped me. While I followed in his
footsteps with meaningful experiences in the United States, Now I am in South Korea to serve military
and work at the Prosecutor’s Office. After, I’m involved in professional projects and Funds that I wanted to work on and gained significant insight from there. I am making progress and stabilizing my life but there is something lacking in my deep mind.

It was during this chapter of my life that I met Richard Ma, the
inspiring founder of Quantstamp. They full of motivation and thrilling prospects in our dialogues. It Sparked my eagerness to
rejoin American and global society. I aspire to embark on an adventure akin to my
father’s.

At 15, my initial journey to Boston was a foray into an
unfamiliar American culture. Even then, I remember gazing at MIT, little did I
know that about the instituition would later resonate with my own goals(rewrite or write this part for me feel like It’s unreasonable and unappealing).
Today, I am highly intent on joining Sloan to fuse my accumulated insights and unique
outlook with the Sloan community’s vibrancy. As I write this essay, my heart
races with anticipation for what lies ahead.

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