Here is the feedback:
What you have done well:
You have identified some key ideas related to the topic of multiculturalism and the possible tensions between the rights of the group and the rights of women.
You have read texts related to the concepts.
Your language is suitably academic.
However:
In the second part, you describe other texts related to the topic. However, you do not analyse how persuasive the Okin text is.
To improve:
The arguments could be analysed more in depth by adding some examples and evidence for the discussion. For instance,
your text engages with counterarguments by mentioning Ashcroft and Bevir’s (2019) viewpoints; however, you tend to describe more than analyze them. That’s why, in some places, your text could benefit from more extensive critical analysis.
The in-text citations contain some errors. Please correct them according to KCL referencing guidelines.
Write a reflection on how you have incorporated feedback on your Portfolio 1 assignment. Your response should be about 300 words and address the following points: ( answer each question and form a very creative paragraph with each of the bullet points covered )
Identify the specific points made in the feedback.
· Start the paragraph with acknowledging any positive comments you may have received. What were your key strengths, if any?
· Reflect on the actions or strategies you employed that led to the positive outcome.
· Consider how the actions from the positive feedback can be applied in your future assignments.
· Suggest how you can further refine these actions and/or skills.
· Identify 1-2 points for improvement.
· Show an awareness of the importance of each of the specific points in academic work.
· Explain the action you took to address the points for improvement in your preparation for Portfolio 2.