I need research to be done and all of these notes to be followed…
Organization: The intro needs some work. I like the following section providing literature review (although it reads a bit choppily–how are all these cases related? Be sure to explain what each one contributes to your analysis). And can you relate the Bailey article about Dominican-American kids using AAVE back to your Awkwafina case? What’s similar and what’s different? (keeping in mind, it was not experimental data but ethnographic data)
I couldn’t really follow the “Navigating respectful engagement” section–how does it fit with/follow from the rest of the paper and how does it connect to your material? It seems more like your opinion, but this isn’t an opinion essay but a research essay…maybe a very short condensed bit can go into the conclusion, to speak to the topic’s significance? Although you already have that kind of angle there, so maybe ditch one or the other, leaving more room to present the empirical material.
Argument: The most thesis-like statement is at the end of the intro, “We suggest that certainly these tweets can be subtle on the surface, with time they can contribute to cultural commodification and racial hierarchies through capitalization on linguistic features related to marginalized groups.” (note that this is currently a run-on sentence needing a conjunction like, “but”)
This isn’t actually what you show, though, but more of a restatement of Roth-Gordon et al.’s argument.
What I’m not clear on is the connection between corporate tweets and Awkwafina’s performance. At the start your paper seems to be about commentaries on her performance, but then your 2nd paragraph shifts to tweets (whose? about what?). I think you need to make clear the connection and bring it back to what you will argue based on the Awkwafina material instead.
Evidence & Analysis: Great use of bibliography in text–a strength of the paper.