Here Is my complete Senior seminar paper, the sections that require the most revisions are the abstract, analysis, conclusion. Here are comments from my professor,
Another issue in the current writing is this: you do an excellent connection to the existing literature. So your interpretation is spot on. However, you have sacrificed developing the code for interpretation. So teh stuff you’re saying in the interpretation while good, isn’t actually backed up in the data becuase you aren’t developing it in your own words. So you need to develop more and then your interpretation will read as connecting data to lit. Right now, it reads like excellent citation of lit, without the data fully connecting it. Look over the findings. In some themes, your “data” is 2 paragraphs” only but the connection to the literature is 2-3 paragraphs. That’s lopsided because the reader doesn’t know what the data is. So first develop the data. Be clear in the writing – don’t say “students” as you say in some of the literature paragraphs (I’ve flagged them). If you’re developing the code say, “my participants” or “the data”. See my detailed in text comments in the paper and the note below
– theme#1 is good – it has 2 codes that are stated + good evidence. Both are missing pattern. While code#1 has been developed to some extent (more can be done), code#2 is missing development
– theme#2 is better than theme#1, in that the codes have been developed to some extent. You have 2 codes that are stated + evidence is good + developed (although some more can be done). Both are missing patterns.
– theme#3 – right now, this is the weakest themes. There seem to be 2 codes, but code#2 hasn’t been clearly stated. In this them, you have codes + evidence – but no development at all. Instead, you have used alot of space (almost 2-3 big paragraphs) making connections to literature. But hte problem is that your data hasn’t been developed so the reader can’t tell whether your data actually says the things you’re saying is connected to the literature. So please see my in text comments here and revise this.
very good connection to literature – however, in my readng, this can be reduced a bit to use more space to develop your codes. There’s also repetitation at the end of the findings where you summarize what you say in the introduciton – delete that paragraph and use the space to develop yoru codes. Also, in your findings, you have alot of policy recommendations. Delete them from here and move to conclusion
6. Conclusion – isn’t on the right track. It needs to be re-written following the guideline. You need to answer your resarech question which is missing. And all the policy reocmmendations from the findings get moved here.
Most importantly, what is the answer to my research question? Based on my findings, research and overall jounrey?