These are only feed
back note
This was a good start for
the assignment , You have a good introduction that explains a real life
situation. You were able to incorporate three sources nicely. I did not see how
your core values influenced your viewpoint for this essay or your perspective
on this issue in society. Your intext citations had a couple errors that should
be essay to clean-up, but you only had three sources on the Reference page.
There was a section in the middle that said “Supporting Reasons”. I
would get rid of the heading and make these paragraphs. It will help your essay
flow.
Comment 1 at is this first sentence? Its all in caps and
ends with a colon?
Comment 2 not on reference page the date is incorrect
Comment 3 you shouldnt have a heading for the thesis. It
should be the final sentence in the introduction
Comment 4 paragraphs need to be 5-7 sentences long
Comment 5 you only need the page number if available. The
paragraph number is used for digital print or websites
Comment 6 need authors names in the intext citation since
they are not used int eh beginning of the quote In-Text Citations: The Basics –
Purdue OWL® – Purdue University
Comment 7 what is your viewpoint on this topic? how does
your core values influence your persepctive PAGE 3
Comment 8 In-Text Citations: The Basics – Purdue OWL® –
Purdue University
Comment 9 You shouldnt have a heading for supporting
reasons. These should be individual paragraphs supporting a key point PAGE 4
Comment 10 References need to be on its own page
See attached documents