Rewriting Communication And Perception In “Girl” By Jamaica Kincaid And “Cathedral” By Raymond Carver

October 26, 2024October 26, 2024 Discipline: English

Hi, can you please rewrite and edit the past essay that I ordered? It needs to be revised, and it is due tomorrow. I will include some feedback that I got from peer reviews; please implement it in the essay if possible. Thank you so much!

Peer Review advice:
-Your essay was a good read! I liked how you compared the stories “Girl”, by Jamaica Kincaid and “Cathedral” by Raymond Carver. Discussed how communication and perception influence the characters and their relationships, in both works of literature. You did a good job highlighting how communication enforces norms in “Girl” and facilitates growth in “Cathedral.” Your arguments were clear and well-developed.



Your essay shines in its thesis statement that sets the stage, for comparing communication and perception in the two stories mentioned above; Girl and Cathedral. You’ve also effectively structured your essay by dividing it into sections that delve into facets of your analysis – discussing mother-daughter communication in Girl and the changing perceptions in Cathedral. Each paragraph stays on point. Ties back, to your argument seamlessly.



Your essay is well supported with evidence, like the imperatives in “Girl” that reflect societal expectations for women and the act of drawing the cathedral, in “Cathedral” which symbolizes the narrator’s shifting perspective. Your argument is well reinforced by these examples and your detailed explanations demonstrate how the evidence aligns with your points.



I was curious, about the character development in “Girl.” You mentioned the daughter’s defiance. I’m interested, in how this defiance plays into the story’s themes and messages; does it hint at growth or does it highlight societal expectations even more strongly instead? Delving deeper into this aspect could enrich your analysis of “Girl.”



I also recommend delving into the narrative methods employed in Cathedral by considering the exploration of the first-person viewpoint more extensively than you have done already in your analysis. I believe you’ve done a good job comparing the two stories and your analysis is quite insightful! It’s important to elaborate on how the utilization of first-person storytelling enables readers to connect with the narrator’s biases and personal evolution on a level.

-I enjoyed reading through your analysis on the mother-daughter dynamic! I think it highlights the rejection and conformity of societal norms in a focused manner. I might suggest adding direct quotes to strengthen your points for readers to understand the text’s context, or for perhaps pointing out the literary techniques that you had mentioned to add more support to your claims. In “Character Development and Relationships”, you could change “communication/relationships” in the last sentence by picking one word or the other, to be more formal on the subject by choosing one term. This might help in less repetition if you decide to choose writing about relationships since the next paragraph introduces “communication” and “perception.”. I think that the last paragraph can be made more clear by addressing communication and perception as a theme in a separate paragraph, and the conclusion as its own to create a distinction between the two. In your conclusion paragraph, adding a generalized statement and expanding on the subject to broaden viewer understanding can add more length. 

Basic Requirements


1. Contain a thesis focused on the topic described above (see Thesis Statements Review)

2. Be a minimum of 1250 words (approximately five pages) using MLA formatting (see Basic MLA Paper Formatting)

3. Discuss two of the literary texts assigned so far this term (by different authors)

4. Quote, cite, and analyze passages from the texts to support your claim (see Gardner Chapters 3-6, Integrating Quotations, Close Reading ) Note: For essay #1, you do not need to include a “Work Cited Page” unless you are making use of outside sources. You should, however, use parenthetical citations for the literary texts you are analyzing.  

5. Be well–structured, clearly written, and carefully edited. (see How to Write a Literary Analysis, Ferster “Argument,” Basic Grammar and Punctuation Overview, and Paragraph Structure Overview)

Rubic:

Follows Basic Directions:

Essay provides an analysis of two assigned texts and meets the minimum word requirement.

Argument and Structure:

Uses a well-structured argument with claim, reasons, evidence, assumptions, qualifiers, and concessions to present the interpretation of the texts to the reader. The body paragraphs are well-developed, make use of clear topic sentences, and connect with the broader essay.
Textual Support, Citation, and Analysis:

Quotes and cites textual evidence using MLA conventions throughout the essay and uses clear analysis to explain how that textual evidence supports the particular interpretation of the text.
Clarity:

The essay is free of grammar and punctuation errors. Sentences are clear and well-developed.

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