for example you can see my classmates work . because i don’t have book so the info they posted .
julias post –
- Chapter 9: Assertiveness Goals
- I would like to contribute my ideas during staff meeting more frequently, even if they differ from others.
- I will politely but firmly decline requests that I cannot accommodate without feeling guilty.
- I will discuss and negotiate a fair distribution of chores, ensuring that I am not taking on more than my share.
- I will let the server know when they get my order wrong instead of just eating what I didn’t order.
- I will share my preferences and suggestions for activities, rather than always going along with what others want.
2.Fair Fighting Handout
- Set a time for the fight: I will arrange a coffee date to have this conversation or “fight” at a time that is convenient for both of us.
- State the problem accurately and factually: I will say, “I noticed our relationship has not been the same since our argument “. My stress levels have been high and I may have overreacted”.
- Express (rather than act out) you full range of feelings: I felt hurt and disappointed when you told me that it was unfair that I took Bella (my daughter) to your mom’s when she was sick”. “You told me, that school would not have accepted her sick and I should have not gone to work and kept her home”. “I feel that was hurtful because I was not leaving her at school. I was leaving her at her grandmothers at a time that I needed support.”
- Propose change: I would mention, I need for you to think about how difficult it was for me to leave her knowing she was sick, but I had a training I was scheduled to deliver. I had no where else to leave her. I understand you don’t go to work when your children are sick and “Our needs are equally valid” (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 1995). All I ask is for you to consider my situation before judging me.
- State the positive consequences of change: If you have a conversation with me without judgment, I will feel less defensive, and we will come up with a solution together.
- State any negative consequences: If we do not have open conversations, we will continue to have unresolved issues and it will begin to affect our relationship overall.
3.Chapter 10: Validation Strategies
Validation works by listening to another person’s feelings and thoughts and acknowledging them. This process involves showing empathy and understanding, even if you don’t necessarily agree with everything. When you validate someone, you communicate that their emotions are important and that you respect their right to feel the way they do. This can be done through verbal affirmations, such as saying, “I understand why you feel that way,” or through non-verbal cues like nodding and maintaining eye contact. By validating others, you create a supportive environment that fosters open communication, reduces conflict, and strengthens relationships.
- Write at least five sentences to explain how you are empowered and what may still feel uncomfortable as you are growing in these areas of communication
I feel empowered because I have learned strategies on how to have a fair fight. These strategies have given me the tools to communicate more effectively and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner. By focusing on active listening, expressing my feelings calmly, and avoiding blame, I can navigate disagreements without escalating tensions. This approach not only helps in maintaining respect and understanding but also strengthens my relationships. Knowing that I can handle conflicts fairly and respectfully boosts my confidence and sense of control in challenging situations.
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (1995). Messages: The Communication Skills Book. New Harbinger Publications
so, let’s dive into Chapter 9 in our Messages: The Communication Skills Book and hone our assertiveness skills.
Let’s learn more about Fair Fighting Download Fair Fightingfrom our class handout.
In Messages: The Communication Skills Book, Chapter 10, let’s learn about how validation works and why.
NOTE: Remember organization: Number and/or write separate sections for each prompt and sub-prompt.
To complete your Initial Post respond to the prompts from Messages: The Communication Skills Book, Chapter 9, the Fair Fighting Handout, and Chapter 10.
1. Chapter 9: Assertiveness Goals
Read the chapter and then list at least five goals in terms of social situations in which you would like to be more assertive. Write specifically how you would like to behave differently, not how you would like to feel or be. Include the people with whom you would like to behave assertively in each situation. See the examples in the chapter for ideas on what you might write. Write separate sections for each goal–number them so the reader learns clearly about each one. List your goals 1-5 rather writing them in one block of content.
2. Fair Fighting Handout
Read the handout and then write your script for change. This exercise is a good one to perform whenever you plan to discuss a problem with your partner or even coworker, parent, or friend. Pick a minor problem to start with–something that you do have trouble with, but not your biggest conflict. Prepare for fair fighting by composing a script for change. NOTE: Include a direct quote from the handout to support your writing.
1. Set a time for the fight:
2. State the problem accurately and factually:
3. Express (rather than act out) you full range of feelings:
4. Propose change:
5. State the positive consequences of change:
6. State any negative consequences:
3. Chapter 10: Validation Strategies
Write at least five sentences to explain your understanding of validation, what it is and why it works. NOTE: Include a direct quote to support your writing.
Write at least five sentences and describe a time when you felt validated by someone.
4. Write at least five sentences to explain how you are empowered and what may still feel uncomfortable as you are growing in these areas of communication.